Saturday 11 September 2010

Cro's Cough Theory.

We are entering the period of coughs and sneezes, and, as Lady Magnon's been coughing her guts out over the last two weeks (it's NOT her above), I would like to offer my 'radical' theory about coughing.

As far as I can see (and I did fail my Medicine O level exam) there are two distinct types of cough. 1. The Spasmodic Cough. And 2. The Voluntary Cough.

The 'Spasmodic Cough' starts from scratch. You're standing still and the cough simply ERUPTS. There's nothing you can do to halt its progress.

The 'Voluntary Cough', however, begins with a deep intake of breath, which is then expelled in the process of a self-controlled, voluntary, cough.

My theory (which I practice myself) involves NEVER performing the Voluntary version. All it does is irritate the internal breathing kit, and prolong one's period of recovery. When I have a bad cough you would never know, simply because I DON'T COUGH. I suggest you do the same.

Lady M flies to London this evening, so anyone taking the early evening flight from S W France to Gatwick should go equipped with several face masks; she steadfastly (isn't that a nice word) refuses to adopt my simple formula.

12 comments:

  1. lol O'h cro maybe women can't hold coughs in like men,I never see a man cough with his legs crossed! have you thought of this...I have to tll you that somethig that works great in a hme of coughs and colds is a bowl of sliced onions on the wndow sill,it is a very old remedy be it works a treat.Hope lady has a safe trip and not too much coughing lol.Thanks for the comment on the ginger cat showed Bob still waiting for his mouth to close lol might be a step closer..have a good day and be kind to the poor lady with a cough!Carole

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  2. Thanks for that Carole. I should have posted my theory two weeks ago; I would have had the whole house filled with bowls of sliced onions ever since. I'll pass your remedy on to Lady M.

    Good luck with the cat.

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  3. Coughs, yes. They usually come out of the blue, on a train, or sitting in a cinema - inconvenient places, and of course once it starts... I've gotten into the habit of taking a small bottle of water with me everywhere. It helps.

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  4. Hi Marianne. For those of us who can read and write, a simple hand in front of the mouth is usually enough. Sadly those less well educated just let their coughs fly in carefree abandon; I suggest keeping a few Cath Kidston facemasks (Japanese style) always handy; as well as the water.

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  5. I agree that coughing spurs on more coughing, however you do have to allow your body to get rid of that phlegm somehow.

    Here are a few good remedies: Drink warm/hot water, echinacea tea or chamomile tea. Keep a scarf around your neck. Rub your feet with Vicks VapoRub and then cover up with socks. That has proven to be a really good cough remedy.

    Good luck! I hope she feels better quick.

    Of course

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  6. I don't know why it says 'of course' at the bottom of my post. Just cross it out when you see it!

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  7. I thought the 'of course' was rather touching!

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  8. Make sure she takes plenty of Fisherman's Friends along with her.

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  9. Maybe Lady M should give up the pipe smoking!

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  10. How right you both are. Fisherman's Friends are wonderful, and clouds of pipe smoke does no-one any good!

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  11. I get the Vicks on your feet with socks (Brilliant Husband also puts it under the scarf around his neck)...but I don't get the bowl of sliced onions on the window sill. What's that about?

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  12. I have nothing to say because I'm still laughing at all your comments! thanks (I do get very grumpy when my manly man has a cough I know he could have prevented it.(allergy pills))

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